Tartar Sauce: the spiciest game of the season!
by litoblueanjel
Summary: *Updated* A hostess that always manages to get into so much trouble that the co-hostess and the battle hostess must go and rescue her. Throw in some random FF and game characters and you get Tartar Sauce! ^_^ Rated for language. Please R&R!!
1. Episode 1 The Insanity Begins

DisClaimer: I do not own Evil Zone, Final Fantasy 8, Spongebob Squarepants, Zelda and Star Fox64....the people who own those things own them.....the freaking lucky people...  
  
A/N: Just so you know, this "T.V. show" is called Tartar Sauce (mentioned below). It's slightly confusing, so I'll leave my lovely notes here and there so you can hopefully understand. If you have any other questions, there is some contact info at the end of this. Just send the statement you have a question or statement about along with your statement/question, and I will force the person to answer you! Enjoy the reading!  
  
Cast of Characters:  
Anni = My friend Andrea who created this "T.V." series  
Mina = My friend who is the Arena Host/Referee  
Anna = litoblueanjel! LBA!!!! Me!!!!  
Everyone Else: Characters from random games/T.V. shows  
  
Key:  
[name]: hgsgjdsfj = talking  
Ex: Anni: Hi everyone!  
::gsdgl:: = action  
Ex: Mina: ::kicks Link halfway across the world::  
((hdjhfkfds)) = misc. action  
Ex: ((Anna walks up straightening shirt))  
*sjglkjglsg* = sound effect/single word actions  
Ex: *BAM* *BONK* *SMACK* *cough*  
(A/N: sfkgdsj) = my wonderfully helpful ::coughs:: comments!  
Ex: (A/N: are all these examples annoying you?)  
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I hope everyone will love my show because it is kind of like celebrity death match only there are cute people instead of ugly asses like Bruce Willis. Anyway, there will be fighting, I caution you, but it will be "friendly" fighting.   
  
So, Welcome to Tartar Sauce! The spiciest game of the season!  
  
Anni: Our contestants tonight are- The whole gang of Evil Zone!   
  
Anna: Spongebob and Patrick! ::Plankton pops up:: Hey, Plankton isn't supposed to be on the show! ::Anna chases Plankton::  
  
Anni: ::clears throat:: Um, anyway.... ::Anna still tries to kill Plankton::  
  
Anni: Yes, ok...... ::Plankton screams:: ::foot stomps:: *squish*  
  
Anni: We have also The gang from Final Fantasy 8!  
  
((Anna walks up, straightening shirt))   
  
Anna: Now lets meet everyone on the show tonight!  
  
Lie: Yes, my name is Linedwell Rainrix. I am not a psychopathic freak ::laughs evilly::  
  
Kakurine: I am a doll. That's all I will be. My name is Kakurine. I am an idiot.   
  
Midori: My name is Midori! I go to the Tenpuin Martial Arts school. I hate it when people laugh at me when I mess up. ::Patrick laughs and says its a giraffe:: ::Midori turns and punches him::  
  
Anna: Please calmit down, unless you wanna end up like Plankton.  
  
Anni: Anyway......I would loooooooooove to meet the rest of you lolligaggers (A/N: Weird word...that is), but it's almost commercial time so I am very sorry. When we get back, we will have a round of wits between...Mr.Squall Leonheart and Miss Setsuna Saizuki...two of the contestants whom you did not get to meet, sorry.   
  
Anna: Wait! What about Zell versus Spongebob?!  
  
Anni: ok, ok, after our first match we will have them fi-  
  
Anna: Oh oh and um....yeah! Danzaiver versus Selphie!  
  
Anni: Yes, well, perhaps we could fit that in-  
  
Anna: Oh oh! Erel versus Patrick! Yeah!  
  
Anni: OK!!!! THAT IS ENOUGH! ::crickets chirp in distance::  
  
Anni: Thank you. Now, when we get back to this pleasant NON-violent show, our first Brainy-Battle is between Squall and Setsuna. So stay tuned!  
  
~commercial of deoderant for starfish~   
(A/N: you will get to see the full version...whenever)  
  
Anni: Hello hello, we are now back to Tartar Sauce, the spiciest show on t.v.!  
  
Anna: Our contestants are now ready to battle. Let's go to the arena!  
  
Mina: Hi hi hi! My name is Mina and I am the arena host! We are going to give you the down-to-earth info on each and every battle we have in here. So...Let's get ready to rumble!  
  
Anna: Ooo it looks like a ferocious battle from the Mini-T.V. over here, Mina.   
  
Mina: It is, yes! Oh look! Squall just used his gunblade and cut poor old Setsuna right up the arm!  
  
((in the background~))  
Setsuna: You will face the wrath of Karin and I, Squall!  
  
Squall: Oh, yeah, that's what you always say, Setsuna.  
  
Setsuna: How would you know? You just met me today!  
  
Squall: Oh yes, I forgot. Anyway, you will faint when you see my GF, Shiva!  
  
Setsuna: I was not aware that we are in a Poke`mon city, Squall. ::snickers::  
  
(A/N: For those of you confused people, Setsuna said "Poke`mon city" because she meant like, Shiva, being a GF who could be called forth to fight, was kinda...well, like something outta Poke`mon. Hope that made sense)  
  
Squall: Oh you say that now, but soon, um, you will twist in pain at Shiva's icy powers! ...... ::looks in confusion at Setsuna's heat-plated armor, which magically appeared on her::  
  
Squall: But...uh...how?...why?....when??  
  
Setsuna: ::laughs and raises a red circle around Squall::  
  
Squall: Ah! ::goes limp and hangs in midair in circle::  
  
Setsuna: Now the finishing touch! ::charges at Squall with sword--is suddenly stopped by Ifrit::   
  
Setsuna: Wai -- where did you come from?  
  
Squall: ::slapped by Shiva, who was also trapped inside the red circle:: Huh? Wuh? Ifrit? Oooook...  
  
Setsuna: ::screaming:: Wait! This is not FAAAAAAIIIIIiiiiiirrrrrrr!!! ::voice grows smaller in the distance from being thrown by Ifrit::  
  
Squall: Wow, thanks Ifrit! You won me the game!  
  
Ifrit: Whadda you mean, won you the game? ::picks up Squall and throws him at Setsuna, who was limping slowly back to the arena::  
  
Setsuna: AHHH!!  
  
Squall: AHHH!!  
  
^both^: *BAM!* oww....  
((~end background))  
  
Mina: And Ifrit is the winner! Wow! How'd ya do it, Ifrit?  
  
Ifrit: Well, considering the fact that I am hella big, and that I am hella mean, well, I just thought, it would be hella too easy to do Hell Fire, so I just beat the hell out of 'em. Bwahahaaa!!  
  
Mina: Oook, well, this battle was brought to you by land! It's everywhere, get used to it.  
  
Mina: OK, Anni! Back to you!  
  
Anni: Thanks, Mina, and what an awesome battle that was! Don't you think so, An-  
  
Anna: ::runs off towards curtains after Plankton...yet again::  
  
Anni: Well, haha, um....so. Let's speak with the other contestants!  
  
Zell: Hi, my name is Zell Dincht, I am 17, and Anni you can stop gaggling at me like that... ::laughs nervously::  
(A/N: "gaggling" in the Anni-English Dictionary means = "staring, gawking, admiring look, playing WAY-too-easy-to-get w/ someone")  
  
Anni: Haha, like what Zell?  
  
Zell: Um...like you are leaning on me and all.....  
  
Anni: Oh...oh! Yes, I am sorry Zell, I am just sleepy... ::rests head on Zell's shoulder::  
  
Zell: ::squirms away:: Heeheee, well, um...........  
  
Anna: ::comes back and then drags Anni away behind the curtains::  
  
Zell: ::looks on in confusion::  
  
Anni: ::screams very loud:: *thump*  
  
Anna: ::walks out of curtains carrying hammer with blood on it::  
  
Anna: Ok, sorry about that folks and Zell. She was very tired.  
  
Zell: Um...I guess that's ok...where's my man Squall?  
  
Anna: He is in Da Dome still...I think...??  
  
Anna: ::calls back to camera-dude:: hey! where is Squall?  
  
Camera-dude: I don't know. He was in Da Dome until Ifrit came...  
  
Zell: ???  
  
Anna: !!!  
  
Anni: Uhhhh......man, I got cut on my head the size of LA....uughhhhhh...  
  
Mina: ::rushes into the screen:: Oh my Gosh, Anna! Squall is -- say, what happened to you, Anni?  
  
Anni: ughhhhhhhhhh........hammmmmmmerrrr.....  
(A/N: Translation: hammer)  
  
Mina: Oh ok then...Anyway, Squall is laying limp in the middle of the dome floor! We need a medic!  
  
((siren goes off))  
  
Zell: ::screams at Anni:: ::hits head on pole:: ::starts to beat up Anni::  
  
Anni: Ow! I needed that leg!   
  
Anna: Zell, calm down!  
  
Mina: Where is that -- ::ambulance runs over Mina:: medic...  
  
Anni: Um... ::looks over Mina's trampled body:: I think we might need another medic over here...  
  
Anna: You got that right!  
  
Anni: Hey, where's Zell?  
  
((both look over and see Zell picking up ax, walking slowly towards Anni))  
  
Anni: Should I run?  
  
Anna: ...yup...definitely.  
  
Zell: You will die, Evil Anni!! You will die!  
  
Anni: Evil?! I am not evil!  
  
Zell: You murdered Squall! You must DIE!! ::swings ax at Anni:: ::Anni dodges by millimeters::  
  
Anna: Zell, stop! STOP!  
  
Anni: That's what I'm sayin'! HELP!  
  
Zell: You will die!  
  
Squall: ::walks up:: Zell...um...I ain't dead Zell, crap....  
  
Zell: Squall! You're alive!   
  
Squall: Yes...ow, my head...yes I am alive. What the hell did you think?  
  
Zell: ::blushes:: I thought that she ::glares at Anni:: killed you.  
  
Squall: Um...no. Ifrit came and smacked me into Setsuna and we both became unconcious. How did you figure that she killed me?  
  
((Spongebob and Selphie pop up))  
  
Spongebob: OK! This is like Oprah, or something!  
  
Selphie: Really!  
  
Spongebob: I'm ready! I'm ready!  
  
Selphie: I'm also ready. I'm also ready.  
  
Anni: ::stares from Zell to Squall to Spongebob to Selphie:: I guess we could have a four-man battle between all of you.  
  
Anna: No! A team battle!  
  
Anni: Ok, I guess that would work, too.  
  
Anna: Wait, who's gonna host the arena? Mina is um...sort of "asleep" rite now. I can't because I am doing the -- ::Ambulance Driver rushes into Anna::  
  
Ambulance Driver (AD): OK, where's the dead corpse?  
  
Anni and Anna: uh....what?  
  
AD: The corpse! Where is it?  
  
Anna: Well, see that girl on the ground over there? That is Mina, and she's -- ::huge T-Rex stomps up and picks up AD by the legs::  
  
Anni/T-Rex (AnniT): OK! I THINK WE'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU!  
  
A.D: No! Put me down!   
  
AnniT: ::swallows AD down whole::  
  
Anna: ::gawks at bizarre scene that just happened in front of her::  
  
Mina: ::from background:: ugh...what happened?  
  
((Zell, Squall, Spongebob, and Selphie rush up))  
  
Selphie: ::glancing around:: Oooooook.......  
  
Squall: What the heck happened here?  
  
Zell: ::Looks up and sees big T-Rex:: Oh...hi?  
  
AnniT: ::roars very loudly::  
  
All: ::screams and runs::  
  
AnniT: ::walks up to camera:: Hi hi! I finally got everyone off the show except me!   
  
Voice from background: Oh no you don't!  
  
AnniT: ::looks behind and sees Link, Star Fox, and Ganondorf:: Um...this is not cool.  
  
Link: Evil dragon..um...thingy, you will either be tamed to live and help destroy evil, or you will be killed!  
  
Star Fox: Yes, or you can help defend cargo on the ship that I drive.  
  
Ganondorf: Or, you can join me, and I will use you to kill all the world!  
  
Mina: ::pops up:: No, you are all wrong! She is my best friend and she wouldn't do any of the things you asked her to do!  
  
Link, Star Fox and Ganondorf: We'll see about that! ::all charge::  
  
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A/N: So? What did you think about the 1st of many to come episodes of Tartar Sauce? It's very...strange as I would put it. I didn't write this...my friend Andrea a.k.a. Anni the hostess, is the writer of this! Let's give her a round of applause! ::crickets chirp:: Umm....anyways, R and R!!  
  
P.S.  
If you want to send Andrea(Anni) personal e-mails about Tartar Sauce, then here is some contact information:  
  
Name: Andrea (a.k.a. Anni the Hostess)  
E-Mail: litoblueanjel@yahoo.com  
AIM: Cap10JackzGaL  
  
-- To subscribe to Tartar Sauce (yes there is a subscription people) visit the following site to sign up:  
  
If you subscribe, you can get your own copy of the scripts, before they altered for FanFiction.net along with Bonus items, such as Bloopers, and the Tartar Sauce National Football League!  
Will Mina be able to fend off Link, Star Fox and Ganondorf?? Will Anni go back to being human (although this form suits her MUCH better)???   
  
Find out in: Tartar Sauce, Episode 2!!!  
Hope you enjoyed this! Episode 2 coming soon in 1-2 weeks or sooner! 


	2. Episode 2 The Insanity Continues

DisClaimer: I don't own Star Fox64, Zelda, Final Fantasy 10, Final Fantasy 8, Spongebob Squarepants or the Matrix....the only thing I DO own is Channel 1200 (I think....)  
  
Thank you to my 2 lovely reviewers:  
Swan of Tirlith  
Lightning  
I give you my sincerest thanks for reviewing my humble fic. ::bows::  
  
A/N: Ok! Welcome to Episode 2 of Tartar Sauce!  
  
=======================================================  
Um.....previously on our previous episode:  
=======================================================  
AnniT: ::walks up to camera:: Hi hi! I finally got everyone off the show except me!   
  
Voice from background: Oh no you don't!  
  
AnniT: ::looks behind and sees Link, Star Fox, and Ganondorf:: Um...this is not cool.  
  
Link: Evil dragon..um...thingy, you will either be tamed to live and help destroy evil, or you will be killed!  
  
Star Fox: Yes, or you can help defend cargo on the ship that I drive.  
  
Ganondorf: Or, you can join me, and I will use you to kill all the world!  
  
Mina: ::pops up:: No, you are all wrong! She is my best friend and she wouldn't do any of the things you asked her to do!  
  
Link, Star Fox and Ganondorf: We'll see about that! ::all charge::  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
And now, on with Episode 2!!!  
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Mina: Oh yeah! I'll protect you, Anni!  
  
((Star Fox kicks a high jump at Mina)) ((Mina does Matrix thing))  
  
((Link shoots arrows)) ((Mina does Matrix thing again))  
  
((Ganondorf uses sceptor and shoots lightning bolts)) ((Mina gets hurt in the arm))  
  
Ganondorf: That's a pity that I'm going to be rid of you, since I really liked watching the show on channel 1200! ::raises sceptor to stab Mina::  
  
AnniT: NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! ::runs up to Ganondorf and knocks him over:: ::picks him up by his leg:: ::bites off leg::  
  
Link: ::rushes over to help Mina::   
(A/N: Hmm...first he attacks her...now he helps her... ::raises eyebrows:: oooooooooo ^^)  
  
Star Fox: ::sits and watches while eating popcorn::  
  
AnniT: You evil dude, you will die-gest!  
  
Ganondorf: NOOOOO!!!!  
  
AnniT: ::swallows Ganondorf almost whole (hee hee) minus the leg::  
  
Mina: ::hanging in Link's arms:: Thank you...Anni...ow, my freaking head!  
  
Anna: ::runs up:: Oh my gosh, what happened here?   
(A/N: I had run away...remember the previous episode...)  
  
AnniT: ::grins and shows teeth:: I think Ganondorf got the POINT! ::no one laughs:: ::crickets chirp in distance::  
  
Link: Well, if all the evil crap is done here, I'm gonna take Mina to my castle and get her all brushed up.  
  
Mina: No, that's ok, Link, I can handle it here-ow.  
  
Link: No, I insist! ::picks up Mina and carries her to Hyrule Castle::  
  
Anna: Ok, well since Mina is gone for now, we'll need someone to host the battles!  
  
Anni: ::turns back into human:: I dunno. The nominees are: Rikku, Tidus, Lulu, Auron, um.....heehee, we'll have more in further notice.   
  
Anna: OK - let's go back to the Show Room.  
  
((both walk back))  
  
Anni: Welcome back, everyone! Sorry we were gone for so long, but we had stuff to do!  
  
Anna: And it seems we lost most of our contestants, too. ::both look and see tumbleweed roll across desert::  
  
Zell: I'm still here!  
  
Squall: So am I!  
  
Patrick: Me too!   
  
Anni: Well, I think that for our first battle, Rikku should be the host. So, let's meet her!  
  
((Rikku runs on stage and trips over a light))  
  
Rikku: Heehee, hi Anni! Hi Anna! OMY(Translation: Oh My Yevon ^^;;;; )! WATCH YOUR SHOW ALL THE TIME!!!!  
  
Anni and Anna: ::look at eachother:: um....yeaaaah, that's nice.  
  
Rikku: ::runs up to camera:: OMY I LOVE CAMERAS! OMY OMY OMY!  
  
Anni: ::walks behind Rikku and hits her in head wih hammer:: ::Rikku drops to floor::  
  
Anni: ::drags Rikku behind curtains::  
  
Anna: Now where have I done this before... ::hears scream:: *thump*  
  
Anni: ::walks back to stage straightening shirt:: OK, so now, where were we? Oh yeah, um...I dont think Rikku was a good host anyway...let's speak with Tidus!  
  
((Tidus hops on to stage all daring and crap and ducks under a table))  
  
Tidus: Hi Anni, hi Anna! Sorry but I just gotta be on the alert for enemies, you never know where they might hide.  
  
Anni and Anna: OOoooooook, then...  
  
Tidus: I just wanted to say, ::spots Squall and Zell:: Hey, I know you from somewhere! You stole my title! ::jumps on both:: ::all three become a big cloud of dust as they catfight::  
  
Anna: OK so I guess that Tidus isn't a good host either...  
  
Anni: We'll be back after this quick commercial to tell you who the REAL host of the Arena is, ok?  
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A/N: Hahahahahahaha ::laughs insanely:: CLIFFHANGERS!!!! ::[your name here] sweatdrops:: Ok...my friend....leaves too many cliffhangers, as you will see in later episodes....heehee! Don't forget to R and R!!!!  
  
Will Anni and I(Anna) ever find a replacement for Mina? Will we even need one? Will the fight between Tidus, Zell and Squall end well?? Find out in: Tartar Sauce, Episode 3!!!!  
Episode 3 coming in 1-2 weeks! Stay tuned! 


	3. Episode 3 The Insanity Goes On

DisClaimer: Must I go through this every episode? Everyone (just about) knows what does or does not belong to me by now, so I'll just skip this part from now on!  
  
A/N: Phew....here we are on our 3rd episode! I hope you enjoyed all of the episodes so far....it's really hard to have to alter then post the stuff and yea...Also, I've decided to post Episode 3 much earlier than expected so that you, my wonderful to-be reviewers can read more at a time. Enjoy!  
  
=================================================  
Previously on our previous episode:  
=================================================  
((Tidus hops on to stage all daring and crap and ducks under a table))  
  
Tidus: Hi Anni, hi Anna! Sorry but I just gotta be on the alert for enemies, you never know where they might hide.  
  
Anni and Anna: OOoooooook, then...  
  
Tidus: I just wanted to say, ::spots Squall and Zell:: Hey, I know you from somewhere! You stole my title! ::jumps on both:: ::all three become a big cloud of dust as they catfight::  
  
Anna: OK so I guess that Tidus isn't a good host either...  
  
Anni: We'll be back after this quick commercial to tell you who the REAL host of the Arena is, ok?  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
And now on with Episode 3!  
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--After the Commercial--  
  
Anni: And we're back with the real host of the show!  
  
Anna: I wonder what ever happened to Link and Mina?  
  
((Mina walks up humming death song, combing her hair))  
  
Mina: Hi guys! What's up?  
  
Anna: Hi, Mina, I'm glad you are ok, but WHERE THE HECK IS LINK?  
  
Anna, Mina and Anni: ::look back and see figure walking up::  
  
Mina: Oh, there he is. He tried to make me lay down, but I hate going to sleep on a full stomach. (A/N: Link gave Mina food, and then tried to make her take a nap...so yea)  
  
Link: Mina, baby, I'm sorry...ow...please forgive--ow--me  
  
Mina: Not in your life, Bomb boy! ::kicks hard, Link flies across screen::  
  
Anna and Anni: rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrite...  
  
Mina: Look at me, I look like a little princess in this outfit ::twirls and grins::  
  
Anni: Hey, you should be happy to have Link chasing after you.   
  
Mina: Yeah, rite. ::snorts::  
  
Anna: Oh, well. Here is now the next host! Um...Aaron!? Aaron Carter?   
  
Anna: ::yells behind to camera guy:: Who the *BEEP* put *BEEP*in Aaron mother *BEEP*in Carter in the mother *BEEP*in show!? (A/N: SORRY AARON-LOVERS!!! ^^;;;;;;; And I read a misprint...it said "Auron" but I took to it as "Aaron Carter" don't ask me how...--; I'm just an innocent bystander ::everyone coughs loudly::)  
  
Anni: ::cough:: Is this a family-oriented show or what, huh? ::laughs nervously::  
  
Mina: Let's just meet our new host.   
  
((Auron walks in))  
  
Auron: Hello, Anni. Hello, Anna. How do you do?  
  
Anni: Gosh, Auron, I've wanted to meet you for some time now. I'm fine though.  
  
Anna: Thank Hyne that it's you Auron and not ::mutters darkly:: Aaron Carter. And I'm cool.  
  
Auron: ::coughs:: ::crickets chirp in distance::  
  
Anni: ::shuffles question cards:: So...what do you, Auron, like to do? In your spare time, I mean.  
  
Auron: I enjoy watching entiographicalological films and afterwards take inquirous notes upon species of lower intelligence.  
  
Anna: ::whispers:: well that kicks the crap out of my normal day  
  
Anni: ::kicks Anna form under table::  
  
Anni: Fascinating, Auron, absolutely fascinating.  
  
Anna: ::yawns loudly::  
  
Anni: Well, Auron, what else do you like to do?  
  
Auron: I also enjoy--::Rikku pops up with bump on head::  
  
Riku: OMY OMY OMY I CANNOT BELIEVE I AM ON THE SHOW! YES YES YES! OMY OMY OMY!  
  
Anni: ::nods towards Anna::  
  
Anna: ::shoves Rikku into cannon:: ::lights cannon:: ::guess what happens:: ::yup you guessed it::  
  
Rikku: ::flying into distance:: I LOVE YOUR SHOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!  
  
Anni: Thank you, Anna. Now, Auron, what was that about your--::looks around for Auron:: Where did he go?  
  
((Auron jumps from ceiling with nunchuckus and strangles Anni))  
  
Mina: AHH! ANNI! I'LL SAVE YOU! ::rushes towards Anni, only to be tripped by Plankton::  
  
((Plankton and Auron slap each other high-fives only to have Plankton flying backwards halfway across the room from the force of Auron's giant hand smacking against his microscopic one))  
  
Anna: AH-HA! YOU, AGAIN, LITTLE MAN! YOU WILL DIE! ::runs over to Plankton and runs him over::  
  
Mina: ::wrestles Auron to ground::  
  
Anni: ::scrambles away:: Am I helpless or what? (A/N: Yes you are Anni...yes you are)  
  
Anna: ::again for the forty-millionth time squishes Plankton::  
  
Anni: ::runs towards curatins:: ::runs into Tidus:: Ow... ::is dazed::  
  
Tidus: ::puts arm around Anni's head and points laser::   
  
Tidus: Anyone moves, then the famous one gets it! (A/N: *cough|shes|not|the|famous|one|cough*)  
  
((everyone freezes))  
  
Tidus: ::motions towards Auron, Zell, Squall:: ::They run behind curtains::  
  
Tidus: If you ever want your precious friend back, you'll have to follow us!  
  
Anni: ::stupidly:: May I buy you a jacket Mr. P Diddy Widdy Cutie-Ootie...  
  
Tidus: ::rolls eyes:: So long! ::runs behind curtains::  
  
Mina: Ok, so we have an annoying sidekick--Rikku--a bunch of contestants--long gone by now--and a kidnapped show host. What do we do now?  
  
Anna: Duh! We go find Anni!  
  
Anna and Mina: Uh...we'll see you next time on Tartar Sauce! Bai bai!  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
A/N: ::laughs evilly:: Another cliffhanger!! HAHAHAHAHA!! Oh, and by the way, I am ever-so sorry to you Aaron Carter fans...but if you must flame me, then you should flame Anni also!! SHE WROTE THIS, NOT ME!!! I JUST EDITED IT AND POSTED IT!!! AHHH!!! ::runs away::  
  
::[your name here] sweatdrops as s/he watches the insane author/editor run off::  
  
Will Mina and I(Anna) be able to save Anni in time?? Will we ever find a way to get rid of Rikku?? Find out next time on: Tartar Sauce, Episode 4!!!  
Episode 4 coming in 1-2 weeks! Stay tuned and I thank you very much for reading this!!! 


	4. Episode 4 And On

DisClaimer: Aww...you all know the drill...I don't own blah blah blah...  
  
A/N: Woo-hoo! Episode 4 is up! How have you all been liking these past episodes? ::laughs:: Can you guys even follow the plot? You might have to go back and read it several times to understand them (I should know...I had to....--;;;;;;)  
  
By the way, I had to repost every chapter about 2 times because FanFiction.net thought that the action words that I had in the sideways shaped "V" thingys were HTML stuff so I had to take it out...and I had to replace all of them with "::::" which was really annoying....--;;;; but hey! If I were truly dedicated, I wouldn't mind! ...But then again, I'm not all that dedicated to this...just kidding Anni! If I weren't would I be posting this up? ::crickets chirp:: um....let's just forget that I even said all that...ok! On with the show! ::disappears::  
  
====================================================  
Previously, on our previous episode:  
====================================================  
Tidus: If you ever want your precious friend back, you'll have to follow us!  
  
Anni: ::stupidly:: May I buy you a jacket Mr. P Diddy Widdy Cutie-Ootie...  
  
Tidus: ::rolls eyes:: So long! ::runs behind curtains::  
  
Mina: Ok, so we have an annoying sidekick--Rikku--a bunch of contestants--long gone by now--and a kidnapped show host. What do we do now?  
  
Anna: Duh! We go find Anni!   
  
Anna and Mina: Uh...we'll see you next time on Tartar Sauce! Bai bai!  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
And now on with Episode 4!  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Anna: Hi hi hi and welcome back to Tartar Sauce, the spiciest--aww nevermind  
  
Mina: I am verry sorry to report that we have not yet found our host Anni, but that we are trying really hard ::coughs::  
  
Anna: We have gotten a ransome note that reads:  
Dear Mina and Anna,  
If you ever want to see your  
game-show host girl again, then  
leave fifty grand by the - wait  
no, leave 500 grand by the  
old oak tree in Fred's Park.  
See you there!  
Love,  
Tidus, Zell, Squall, and Auron  
  
(A/N: Now, if you were REALLY leaving a ransom note, you'd REALLY be stupid enough to put your names on it...geez, what idiots! ^^)  
  
Mina: ::dully:: Oh the horror. Poor Anni.   
  
((Patrick pops up))  
  
Patrick: I know how we can find her!  
  
Anna: How?  
  
Pat: We just dig a hole to Bikini Bottom, and push it somewhere else!  
  
Mina and Anna: um... I don't think that would work...  
  
Pat: Of course it would! We want to find treasure, rite?  
  
Anna and Mina: Um...noooooooo??  
  
Pat: Oh...ok, then. Bye! ::disappears::  
  
Lie (remember him? Episode 1): ::walking up:: Heehee, I know where to find her...  
  
Anna: Where?  
  
Mina: You do?  
  
Lie: Yes, I once had affection for her, and also I was involved with the Final Fantasies Gang. (A/N: ::gags:: spare me...)  
  
Anna and Mina: Ooooook...  
  
Lie: Just one thing I want in return...  
  
Mina: What?  
  
Lie: Her soul.  
  
Anna: But that would turn her into a blood-thirsty zombie!  
  
Mina: Hmmmm....deal! ::shakes hands with Lie::  
  
Anna: But what exactly are you going to do with her soul, Lie?  
  
Lie: That's for me to know, and for you to never find out!  
  
Anna: Oook, forget I asked.  
  
Lie: Follow me.  
  
Mina: Ok, sorry audience but you'll have to watch from the big screen! Come on, Camera-dude.  
  
((All walk out of studio - it's pitch black outside))  
  
---2 hours later---  
Anna: Are you sure you know where you're going?  
  
Mina: Yeah, we've been wondering out here for like two hours already!  
  
Lie: I know where I'm going, it's just--::stops abruptly:: This is the place...  
  
Anna: ::sarcastically:: Ooo I'm scared!  
  
Mina: Hey what was--[censored word]!!!!--::pulled into darkness:: ::muffles a scream::  
  
Anna: Mina! ::turns around:: Mina! Where are you?!   
  
Lie: ::grabs Anna around shoulders:: ::drags her into the darkness:: Shut up, or else I'll slit your throat! ::holds sword up to her neck::   
  
((Lie walks into dimly lit alley)) ((opens a door)) ((walks into dimly lit room))  
  
Lie: ::throws Anna onto the ground:: I hope you like your stay!   
  
Anna: But we had a deal!  
  
Lie: Correction..Mina and I had a deal. You were just involved.  
  
Anna: So where's Mina?!  
  
Lie: Oh, she's around...maybe an arm there, a leg here, you know.  
  
Anna: ::screams and runs at Lie::  
  
Lie: ::closes door quickly::  
  
Anna: ::runs into door:: ::starts to cry::  
  
Anni: Mmm, Anna, is that you?  
  
Anna: Anni? Anni, are you there?!  
  
Anni: Yeah, I'm here..ow, my head hurts though.  
  
Anna: ::rushes over:: No wonder it hurts, someone cut you across your face!  
  
Anni: Oh... ::passes out::  
  
Anna: Anni? Anni!? Wake up, please!  
  
((door opens))  
  
Tidus: Yeah, yeah, Lie, you get what you wanted...what ever, here, you'll need this knife, she is kinda excentric when it comes to beating up people ::rubs swollen cheek::  
  
Lie: No thanks, man, I got all the blade I need. ::pats sword::  
  
Tidus: ::walks into room:: ::grabs Anni by feet:: ::drags her out to Lie::  
  
Lie: Oh, by the way, do you want me take the camera guy out, I mean, he has been following everything we've been doing (A/N: the camera-man deserves a raise! ^^)  
  
Tidus: No, that's ok. I want the world to know how powerful the Final Fantasies Gang is.   
  
Lie: Ok, whatever. ::starts to drag away Anni::  
  
Tidus: ::stands in doorway looking for Anna::  
  
Anna: ::from behind:: You looking for me? ::stabs Tidus in back of stomach:: (A/N: Gee...I wonder how I got back there...and how I got hold of a knife...?)  
  
Tidus: ::groaning:: Uh...Where'd you get the--::drops to floor::  
  
Anna: Here I come, Anni and Mina!  
  
Lie: ::still dragging Anni:: ::leaving blood trail::  
  
Anni: ::wakes up, still drowsy:: Uh...who--who are you?  
  
Lie: Um..I am just a figment of your poor imagination, now go back to sleep.  
  
Anni: Oh, ok...whatever. ::falls back alseep:: (A/N: Anni...the "smart" one... ::sighs:: --;;;)  
  
Lie: Phew, that was close. Oh there it is! The spirit winds!  
  
Lie: ::reaches the spirit place:: ::pulls Anni onto table::  
  
Anni ::wakes up:: Huh? Wha? Hey, let me go! (A/N: Yes, of course! Resist now, when you could have resisted earlier...SUCH a dense idiot... --;;;;;)  
  
Lie: ::locks wrists and ankles and waist in cuffs:: Not so fast, darling.  
  
Anni: ::eyes widen:: What are you going to do?  
  
Lie: I'm going to kill you and then take your spirit and put it in this dead girl's body over here, and mix it with a cannibal's spirit, so as you will produce zombies who will follow my every word. By the way, the dead girl is a clone of you, hehee  
  
Anni: YOU STUPID ASS! LET ME GO! LET ME GOOOO!!  
  
Lie: ::laughing crazily:: Never!  
  
Anna: ::walking into spirit place:: Anni! NOO!  
  
Lie: ::raises sword:: I love you, Anni. Bwahaha! ::thrusts sword into Anni's chest::  
  
Anni: AHHHHH!!! ::spirit flows like wind into dead girl's body::  
  
Anni (the reincarnated one): Ugh...help--::growls:: ::groans:: Anna...hhheeeeeellllpp.... ::staggers up::  
  
Anna: Anni! Control your your canniballistic hunger! Control it!  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
A/N: ......strange huh? Yeah, you should be used to it [your name here]. I sure am!  
Anyways, will Anni be able to control her canniballistic hunger? Will I(Anna) be able to save her in time (well...i don't want to...^^;;;)??? Find out next time in: Tartar Sauce, Episode 5!!!!  
Episode 5 coming in -- you guessed it! -- 1-2 weeks! Stay tuned in to Channel 1200 to find out what happens!!!  
  
Don't forget to R and R!!! 


	5. Episode 5 And On

DisClaimer: Why must I have to put up with this?! x_x Everyone knows I don't own anything!! Heck, even the IDEA for this isn't mine!! ::rambles::  
  
A/N: Whoo... o_O Time flew. My computer crashed so I couldn't put up the chapters!! Well, thanks for waiting!! Here's the long-awaited Episode 5!! ::cheers::  
  
======================================================  
Previously, on our previous episode:  
======================================================  
Lie: ::raises sword:: I love you, Anni. Bwahaha! ::thrusts sword into Anni's chest::  
  
Anni: AHHHHH!!! ::spirit flows like wind into dead girl's body::  
  
Anni (the reincarnated one): Ugh...help--::growls:: ::groans:: Anna...hhheeeeeellllpp.... ::staggers up::  
  
Anna: Anni! Control your your canniballistic hunger! Control it!  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
And now on with Episode 5!  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
~This episode of Tartar Sauce is dedicated to one of my best friends, Mina. And furthermore, Tidus is NOT dead; he was (stabbed) unconcious; Rikku will come back; I never heard of anyone dying from a cannon blast *cough*; however, I don't know how my future will turn out, heehee~  
  
(A/N: That was a little something that the original author (Anni) put in. And that little thing about Tidus and Rikku? We have some friends at our school who go by those names and so Anni was just reassuring them that their characters would be back. And also, I'm not sure if this got cleared up yet, but in the previous episodes, everytime I mentioned Riku I mean the FEMALE Rikku. Not the Kingdom Hearts one. It's just that when these episodes were written, the KH Riku had yet to appear. -_-;; Anyways, from now on, the names will be correct...I hope. @_@)  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
...Okay. NOW on with Episode 5!! ^_^;;  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Anni: ::eyes turn red:: ::mouth foams:: I g-g-got rabbies!  
  
Anna: That's ok, Anni, just stay calm! Please, stay calm!  
(A/N: Now WHY, for ANY reason would I say "that's okay"?! -_-;;)  
  
Lie: ::glares at Anna:: Oh, it's you! ::draws out Shahal::  
  
Anna: ::eyes widen:: No!!!!  
  
Lie: ::about to stab Anna::  
  
Anni: NOOOO!! ANNA, I'LL SAVE YOU!! ::runs into Lie and bites off piece of skin:: ::nose grows long - nails grow curved - turns into (salt water) crocodile::  
  
Lie: A crocodile?! But-but- ow, that'll leave mark.  
  
Anna: Thank you, Anni!   
  
AnniCroc: Your welcome, Anna. Hey, I can talk!  
  
Anna: Never mind that, let's get outta of here!  
  
Anni: Wait! What about MINA?  
  
Anna: Oh yeah, we can't forget MINA.  
  
((Both go through dimly lit alley, searching for MINA's room))  
  
(A/N: Yes, I know that Mina's name is capitolized. ^_^;; That was part of the original text and I think Anni wishes it to remain that way)  
  
Anni: Is that it? ::points toward door::  
  
Anna: I guess it is. ::both walk in::  
  
Anna: You go that way, I'll go this way, ok?  
  
Anni: OK. ::crawls left:: Hey, I think - AHH!!! *splash*  
  
Anna: What?! What happened?!  
  
Anni: Who's the idiot who put in this trap door?   
  
Anna: Are you ok?  
  
Anni: Yeah, I'm fine. It's kind of crowded down here though.  
  
((Door opens))  
  
Lie: Ah-hah! ::runs foward:: I Found - ahhhh!!! ::falls into pit::  
  
Anni: Hihi Lie! *crunch*  
  
(A/N: Haha...bye bye Lie!)  
  
Anna: Well,that took care of him.  
  
Anni: OKay, so how do I get out now?  
  
Anna: I don't know, stay here, I'll go find Mina and we'll figure - ::gasps::  
  
Tidus: ::standing in doorway:: ::heaving:: I bet you think that you saw the last of me...right... Anna?  
  
Anna: Um....yes?  
  
Tidus: Well, I'm not dead. And ::holds up sword:: you, like all those other retarded actors, ALWAYS LEAVE THE FREAKING WEAPON BEHIND!  
  
(A/N: How that helped keep him alive...I don't know -_-;;)  
  
Anna: Well, yes, I guess, but -   
  
Tidus: And you are the only one left, right? I mean, Anni was killed and reincarnated, if you could call it that. Mina's in the bedroom down the hall, where she is being interrogated by Kiros and Laguna. And you, well, you aren't going to leave this room alive.  
  
Anna: ::gulps:: Well, this stinks.  
  
Tidus: Don't worry, I wouldn't kill you. I mean, You're nice. You always used to help me in P.E. when I never got my footing right. Remember?  
  
(A/N: To clear that up, one of my friends in P.E. class is also known as Tidus, and that is what Anni is referring to. Only, he helped me more than I helped him...)  
  
Anna: Oh yeah, I remember!  
  
Tidus: Yeah, so, I wouldn't kill you. But Anni, oh ::shudders:: that girl was not so nice. She made me die in her script in seventh grade, remember?  
  
Anni: Hey, I heard that!  
  
Tidus: What was that?  
  
Anna: ::shuffles feet:: Oh that was me..  
  
Anni: No, it was Dumbo.  
  
Tidus: What the heck is going on here?  
  
Anna: Hehee, nothing, Tidus, absolutely nothing!  
  
Anni: *coughyeahrightcough*  
  
Tidus: OK, I'm not stupid.  
  
Anni: Really? We weren't sure...  
  
Tidus: ::rushes up to Anna with blade:: OK, who else is in here?!  
  
Anna: No one!  
  
Anni: My ass!  
  
Tidus: Who?!  
  
Anna: Ok ok, um...Anni is in here.  
  
Tidus: WHAT?! She's supposed to be dead!  
  
Anna: Yeah, and so are you. ::shoves Tidus into pit that Anni is trapped in::  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
A/N: Hehe...poor Tidus. He put his trust into me...which led to his downfall. ^_^ Oh well.  
  
Hmm...will Tidus live to see the next day? Will Anni and I(Anna) be able to get to Mina before it's too late? Will Anni go back to normal?? Was she even normal to start with?! ^_^;; Find out next time in: Tartar Sauce, Episode 6!!!  
  
Episode 6 should be coming soon! Tune in to Channel 1200 to see what happens!!  
  
Don't forget to R and R!! ^_~ 


	6. Episode 6 ::takes breath:: And On

DisClaimer: I OWN THE WHOLE WIDE UNIVERSE!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!! ::glows in her power::  
*RIIIIIIIIIIIING* (alarm clock)  
Anna: ::wakes up:: Ah darn...it was just a dream... ;_; I still own nothing...  
  
A/N: Here's the lovely Episode 6 of Tartar Sauce! =D Have you been waiting long?? Well wait no more!! Here it is!!  
  
======================================================  
Previously on our previous episode:  
======================================================  
Tidus: ::rushes up to Anna with blade:: OK, who else is in here?!  
  
Anna: No one!  
  
Anni: My ass!  
  
Tidus: Who?!  
  
Anna: Ok ok, um...Anni is in here.  
  
Tidus: WHAT?! She's supposed to be dead!  
  
Anna: Yeah, and so are you. ::shoves Tidus into pit that Anni is trapped in::  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
And now on with Episode 6!  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Tidus: Ahh! ::grabs Anna's shirt::  
  
(A/N: AHH!! The pervert!! ::slaps him::  
Tidus: Hey!! That hurt! What was that for?!  
Anna: You know what you did... ::mumbles::)  
  
Anna: Ahh! Let go!  
  
Anni: ::turns back into human:: Hey, I can get out!  
  
--A Few Seconds Later--  
  
Anni: I'm almost out! ::reaches top:: ::puts hands over edges::  
  
Tidus: ::loses grip on Anna's shirt and falls onto Anni causing them to both fall back to bottom::  
  
Anna: Ah! Anni!  
  
Anni: Ow, my head...  
  
Tidus: Ahhh!! it's you! ::reaches over and tries to strangle Anni::  
  
Anni: Hey, let go! Why do you want to kill me anyways?  
  
Tidus: ::thinks:: I really don't know.  
  
(A/N: Wowie! He's thinking!! Let's give him a hand for finally mastering such an act!! ::gets stampeded by Tidus lovers:: x_x)  
  
Anni: Well, then can we all just get along?  
  
Tidus: OK. Let's shake on it.  
  
Anni: ::reaches and takes Tidus's hand - Tidus takes her hand and twists very hard:: *CRACK*  
  
Anni: OWWW!!! MY FREAKING HAND!!  
  
Tidus: Just to make sure you don't double-cross me, ok?  
  
Anni: Yeah, whatever...ow!  
  
Tidus: We're ready to come out now!  
  
(A/N: And announcing that helps get you out how?)  
  
Anna: Ok, how can I get you out?  
  
Rikku: ::pops up from somewhere:: I can save you! ::leaps into hole::  
  
Tidus: ::whispers to Anni:: Let's just take the elevator. ::points::  
  
Anni: ::nods:: ::both go in elevator and and go up::  
  
Rikku: ::sings heroic theme song:: Rikku is here to save the day! Hey? Where did everyone go?  
  
((Anna Anni and Tidus walk calmly out of room))  
  
Riku: ::in distance:: You can't just leave me down here!  
  
(A/N: Watch us)  
  
Anna: Ooo, Anni what happened to your arm?  
  
Anni: Oh nothing, 'cept that a certain *coughTiduscough* kind of broke it.  
  
Anna: ::glares at Tidus::  
  
Tidus: Hey, I'm sorry, but she could turn on you any time! Remember, she's a zombie.  
  
Anni: ::hangs head::  
  
Anna: So, where did you say they are holding Mina?  
  
Tidus: ::points to room:: Right there. If we play our cards right, we should be able to get her out in one piece.  
  
Anni: Who the heck is ::wipes mouth:: guarding her?  
  
Tidus: ::grins:: Kiros and Laguna.  
  
Anna: Not them!  
  
Anni: Oh my gosh! I love them! I do I do!  
  
Anna: Yes! They are so cute! ::both faint and sigh::  
  
(A/N: Someone shoot me now! _ I don't find them cute anymore... x_x)  
  
Tidus: ::slaps both:: Ok ok, wake up.  
  
Anna: Sorry, it's just that...hey, look!  
  
Anni: ::gasps:: Oh my gosh, that's a person!  
  
Anni: ::rushes over:: Anna, Tidus, come here! Look!  
  
Tidus: That's Faris!  
  
Anna: You know her?   
  
Tidus: Yeah, she was really nice in seventh grade.   
  
Anna: Oh.  
  
Anni: Ahh, she's been gagged! ::takes off gag::  
  
Faris: Oooo, thank you, friend...Hey, I know you! You're Anni from Tartar Sauce!  
  
Anni: Obviously you're ok.  
  
Anna: Who's that? ::points to guy::  
  
Faris: Oh, that's just my fellow agent.  
  
Agent: ::rolls onto ground over to group:: 'Ello, all. Name's Bond, James Bond.  
  
Anni: Ooook...  
  
Tidus: Hey James, how the heck are ya?  
  
James: Well, I'm ok, good fellow.  
  
Faris: ::stands up:: Ok, roll call! Anni!  
  
Anni: Here!  
  
Faris: Anna!  
  
Anna: Here!  
  
Faris: Tidus!  
  
Tidus: Here!  
  
Faris: James!  
  
James: Here!  
  
(A/N: Now someone (particularly Anni) please tell me how on Earth she knew my name if we only just met about a few seconds ago and I never mentioned it?!)  
  
Faris: OK, well, I guess that everyone's here...  
  
Anni: Wait, we forgot Mina!  
  
James: Oh yes, a mission!  
  
Tidus: OK, we'll have to bust in the room - 5 vs. 2? Haha, I'm laughing.  
  
Anni: I'm sittin this fight out. No way I'm gonna beat up ::sighs dreamily:: Kiros!  
  
Tidus: ::sighs:: OK, fine. Your arm's screwed up, anyway.  
  
Anni: Because someone doesn't trust me!  
  
Tidus: You never know!  
  
Faris: Both of you shut up! OK, Anni and I stay here, the rest go kick some bootie.  
  
Anna: OK, let's do it!  
  
Patrick: ::pops up in alley:: Whoever's the owner of the white Sudan, you left your lights on. ::disappears::  
  
(A/N: Oh shit!! ::rushes outside to parking lot:: Hang on Precious!! Mommy's coming to save your energy!!!)  
  
Anni: ::winks:: Tidus, you may want to borrow these. ::hands Tidus nunchakus::  
  
Tidus: ::speechless becuase they do not look like forks and by the way where did he find the fork nunchakus?::  
  
(A/N: The other day, Anni and Tidus were arguing about what Selphie's nunchaku looked like. -_-;; Anni decided to put it in)  
  
Bond: Let's go!  
  
((Bond, Tidus, Anna charge into room))  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
A/N: I hope you managed to understand most of that! ^_^;; If there are any questions, please e-mail me at litoblueanjel@yahoo.com and in the Subject, please put "Questions about Tartar Sauce" so that I know it isn't spam. -_-;; I'll try and clear it up for you with Anni either in the next post or through a reply! ^_^  
  
Will James Bond, Tidus and I(Anna) be able to save Mina? (I hope so or I will be in SO much trouble... -_-;;) What will become of Anni and Faris while they wait for us? Will Laguna and Kiros really die (much to Anni's protest?) Find out in the next episode!!  
  
Tune in soon to Channel 1200 to catch what happens next on: TARTAR SAUCE!!  
R and R!!! ^_^ 


	7. Episode 7 And On

DisClaimer: ...didn't I say I was going to stop? x_X;; I guess not... Anyways, I own every-- ::sees a whole bunch of lawyers ready to sue her:: Uh... I own every little Author's Note that I make in every episode!! ^_^;;  
  
Lawyers: ::look disappointed that she didn't slip up::  
  
A/N: Whee!! Episode 7 is here at last!! ^_^ Took me long enough eh?  
  
=========================================================  
Previously on our previous episode:  
=========================================================  
Anni: ::winks:: Tidus, you may want to borrow these. ::hands Tidus nunchakus::  
  
Tidus: ::speechless becuase they do not look like forks and by the way where did he find the fork nunchakus?::  
  
(A/N: The other day, Anni and Tidus were arguing about what Selphie's nunchaku looked like. -_-;; Anni decided to put it in)  
  
Bond: Let's go!  
  
((Bond, Tidus, Anna charge into room))  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
And now, on with Episode 7!  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Kiros: Hey, Tidus, wassup - whoa, what're you all doing here?  
  
Tidus: We're just here to say 'hi'. ::punches Kiros::  
  
Laguna: Traitor!  
  
Anna: Hahahahahaha--no. ::kicks Laguna where it hurts::  
  
Bond: ::ducks under table and fires rounds::  
  
((Mina runs, wait...no, hops out of room because she is tied up like a mummy. Poor Mina))  
  
Tidus: Run!   
  
Wakka: ::appearing in doorway:: No one's leaving this room alive!  
  
((all freeze))  
  
Wakka: Kiros, Laguna, I can't leave you two alone for one minute without you getting in trouble. Get over here, now!  
  
Kiros: Yes, oh fearless master butthead... ::mumbles::  
(A/N: Oh yeah... best insult in the world Kiros... "oh fearless master butthead")  
  
Wakka: ::holds up Kiros by shirt collar:: You are outta here! ::throws out into alley::  
  
Anni: ::looking in curiosity:: Kiros?  
  
Kiros: Ow...my head hurts...hey, I know you! You're Anni from Tartar Sauce, the spiciest game of the season! *COUGH*  
  
Anni: Wow, you know me , Kiros?  
(A/N: ...I'll pretend she knows that he JUST said her name and all her T.V. stats... -_-;; )  
  
Kiros: Yeah, I do. I always liked watching your shows.  
  
Anni: You're in luck, the camera-dude is filming us right now, and the viewers are watching it from the big T.V. in the arena.  
  
Kiros: ::grins very widely:: Cooooooooooool. Hey, where are your nunchaku?  
  
Anni: I let Tidus borrow them. He was desperate.  
  
Kiros: I see. Well, since you are defenseless, why don't you handle one of my swords?  
  
Anni: Really? Thanks, Kiros, you're the best! ::hugs Kiros::  
(A/N: Okay everyone, in a group!! "Awwwww!!")   
  
Kiros: Aw, anytime Anni -- ::knocked unconcious::  
  
Anni: ::screams and looks up::  
  
Wakka: Oh, what do we have here?  
  
Anni: ::stutters::  
  
Wakka: Oh, little girl gone lost and landed up in a dirty old alley, huh? Well, thats too bad. Get in the room, now!  
  
((Anni rushes into room where Laguna is guarding))  
  
Laguna: Where's Kiros?   
  
Wakka: Oh, I just introduced him to a nice little baseball bat. He's fine, though.  
  
Anni: ::mumbles:: To you it was a baseball bat, to us it was a tree...  
(A/N: O_O Wowie... we must have a BIG height difference if it's like that...)  
  
Wakka: ::smacks Anni::  
  
Anni: Ow! ::falls to floor and lands on broken hand:: AAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Wakka: Now you know who to respect, brat.  
  
Anna: ::gulps::  
  
Tidus: ::growls::  
  
James: ::glares at Wakka::  
  
Faris: ::whimpers::  
  
Laguna: Was it actually necessary to knock him out, though, boss?  
  
Wakka: Of course it was, Laguna, and if you want, I can give you a hands-on demonstration of how I did it.  
  
Laguna: Heehee...um...no, that's ok.  
  
Anni: ::rubs cheek:: You seriously gotta work out your priorities, guy.  
  
Wakka: ::kicks Anni:: Shut your freaking trap, girl!  
  
Anni: I mean, look at your hair. What, did you get trapped outside during an electrical storm or something?  
(A/N: ::holds back Wakka fans with a stick:: BACK ALL OF YOU!! SHE DOESN'T MEAN IT!! ::beats them with her stick:: )  
  
Wakka: ::throws Anni against wall:: I mean it! One more word, and I'll use the blade and cut you to confetti!  
  
((others look on in fear))  
  
Anni: I'm so scared of the moron with orange hair. ::limps towards Wakka:: Look at your outfit. What, did you just transfer here from a farm?  
  
Wakka: ::takes out gunblade:: That's it! I'm gonna slice you to ::stabbed by Anni:: b-b-bits... ::falls to floor::  
  
Anni: Wow, good thing I ::wipes mouth:: had this sword. You rule, Kiros!  
  
Anna: Ok, well let's get outta here.  
  
Tidus: You coming, Laguna?  
  
Laguna: Well, I guees I could. But we gotta get Kiros first. By the way, what are you all doing here, anyway?  
  
Anni: We're looking for Mina -- say, where did she go?  
  
Faris: I saw her leave right when you all entered.  
  
Anni: Ok, so we find Mina, then we go to the docters. ::wipes mouth:: My mouth is getting all watery.  
  
=============================================================  
A/N: Oh yeah!! An update!! Whoo!!! XD LoLz. Thankies to QuirkyCellist and your helpful comments. ^_^ I'll be sure to post up something special for you soon!! ^_~ And I can't wait until we have that spoof of T.V. shows ready to be put up. ::evil look:: Muahahaha... ::gags as she tries to laugh evilly::  
  
Anyways... ::takes on an announcer-like voice::  
  
What's wrong with Anni? Is there a doctor in the house? Where did Mina disappear to? And what are we going to do with Wakka's corpse? Do we even care?!  
  
Tune in to Channel 1200 and find out, next time on: TARTAR SAUCE!!!  
R and R!!! 


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